Human Flatulence, the Errant Vegans and Reducing Sources of Carbon Dioxide: Eat Meat and Produce Less Gas!!

Abstract: Vegans and others who eat vegetables pollute the planet with toxic flatulence that warms the planet while real Americans who eat steak and cheese do not threaten our future and smell better for it. Liberals who are in favor of reducing green house gases should switch their dietary habits to consuming only recycled foods that have already been digested by bacteria and are thus free of toxic gases in the second pass. The fat content is lower and that would be a second benefit. Liberals need to be educated on this important topic so we can save the planet and keep the prices of beef and cheese low. Educate a liberal on the environmental damage done by veggies and suggest massive taxes on these toxic substances so we can save the planet.

The advice on what to eat and what not to eat is an ongoing essay in politics. Red meat has been damned for decades without evidence except for the howling lefties who hate John Wayne and cattle.  The famous Nurse’s Colon Cancer study was published and was a treat for anyone with a mathematics background as they solicited biannual anecdotal comments from 112,000 nurses, truncated the responses down to about 80,000 and thus threw about 35% of the data and a careful reading of the original paper showed that there was no problem with eating meat if you merely are more white meat than red.  I passed this paper around for comments when it first came out among numerous scientists at a large clinical chemistry unit for all to have a good laugh.  But, I have to thank the goodie-goodies for depressing the market for prime beef as it has lowered the costs and improved my lifestyle considerably. Even useful idiots can provide a decent service for the rest of us on occasion. Most of our ‘science’ today is run like apes judiciously picking the juiciest berries from the tree while thinking about sex. The corruption at East Anglia by Phil Jones[1] and his fellow ‘scientists’  in the Global Warming Follies[2] apparently indicates that they are following the apes in this important respect. We don’t know if drugs are involved yet. They threw out data[3] that tended to compromise their prejudices. Other distinguished ‘scientists’ at SUNY Albany have now been accused of just manufacturing temperature data from China temperature monitoring  stations and plugging those into climate models to fake temperature increases.[4] What would you like to believe? Just find a crooked ‘scientist’ and they will arrange the conclusion before experiments begin so as to suit your politics or other fancies. Hookers on 8^th Avenue in New York City are more honest than this.

Facts about out gassing:

Humans excrete the poisonous and hazardous gas carbon dioxide [CO₂] and its more hazardous and flammable pollutant methane [CH₄] and are both nasty green house gases according so some suspect scientists.[5] Methane is 23 times more dangerous in the atmosphere than CO2 in terms of global warming.[6] The percentage of CO₂ in human exit gases range from 10–30% by percentage. Methane, an even more dangerous gas that is causing global warming is about 0-10% depending on several factors.[7]

But some in the shaky British science community, now illuminated in the news spotlights because of their alleged nefarious acts of scientific subterfuge in East Anglia, have suddenly reversed the facts and have a plan to change our eating habits:

“To fight climate change and tackle the growing crisis of diet-related diseases such as diabetes, heart disease and cancer, British consumers must cut down on meat and dairy produce, reduce their intake of processed foods and curb waste.”[8]-- Eat less meat and dairy: official recipe to help health of consumers – and the planet Shrinking of food and drink industry likely, says report By Felicity Lawrence The Guardian, Friday 11 December 2009 [Emphasis is mine in all quotes.]

That dairy produce comment does not include cheese because it lacks carbohydrates.

Really? [ Partial credit allowed for dairy products as they were clumped together to disguise the facts.] The facts seem to indicate otherwise:

“Flatulence-producing foods are typically high in certain polysaccharides, (especially oligosaccharides such as inulin).). Those foods include beans, lentils, dairy products, onions, garlic, scallions, leeks, turnips, rutabagas, radishes, sweet potatoes, potatoes, cashews, Jerusalem artichokes, oats, wheat, and yeast in breads. Cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, Brussels sprouts and other cruciferous vegetables that belong to the genus Brassica are commonly reputed to not only increase flatulence, but to increase the pungency of the flatus.”[9] Rice is a notable exception in this carbohydrate class as it does not produce gas.[10] Humans discharge on average approximately 600 ml in roughly 13-14 passages. [Emphasis is mine in all quotes.]

“"As a group, vegetarians produce more gas than meat-eaters because the intestinal enzymes can't digest the cellulose in vegetables' cell walls. However, the colon's bacteria relish the stuff. The outcome: When a group of young men, in the service of science, feasted on a diet rich in pork and beans, their flatus elimination increased from 15 ml to 176 ml per hour!"[11]-- The Facts About Flatulence by Margaret C. McDonald. Nov/19/1990[Emphasis is mine in all quotes.] [It must have been the beans. E.d.]

Back of the envelope calculation:

[That is about 20 mL per hour/22,400 mL/mole at STP  x 24 hours/day  x 4 billion people and 365 days per year x 16 grams/mole methane = 5.01E+11 grams or 501,000 metric tons @ 28$/ metric ton = 14 million dollars x methane/CO2 factor of 23 = 322 million dollars from  just eating the wrong foods.] Of course this builds up and stays around so in 100 years we will have the equivalent of 32 billion dollars in credits.  At a bit higher tax it works out to some 320 billion to 3 trillion dollars. We could save the planet by just not eating veggies or jogging. Let’s tax veggies to, say, $3 per pound and save the planet.

Vigorous exercise such as the ‘runner’s trots’ may produce excess flatulence.[12] Flatulogenics[13] are certain foods that produce flatus and are ranked in this order in severity: beans, bran, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower and onions.[14] Some people produce tremendous amount of such gases apparently at will.[15] This latter comment must apply to liberals.

A review of this interesting topic seems to reveal that vegetables are a major source of such toxic pollutants and is caused by diet but exercise appears only to moderate the symptoms and the rate of release and your neighbor’s comfort preferences, in some cases, but not all, but not reduce the total concentration of CO2 and CH4 excreted. As such, we must recommend that vegetables be outlawed or severely taxed and only rice allowed being unregulated. Meats and other proteins apparently do not threaten our atmosphere with global warming so they may be eaten habitually although the cattle may need to be bagged to trap such gases and we can use that energy source to heat our swimming pools. Avoidance of whole grains and such is urged by authorities at Salon.com where the Old German word Pumpernickel translates as “goblin that breaks wind."[16] This is perhaps Salon’s finest contribution to human knowledge and communication although other sources call this "devil's f**t".[17]

So, the next time you must hang around where vegans, liberals and other political parasites are eating poached broccoli and popping beans just take a sniff and realize what the problem is.  Those places who are selling ‘organic’ foods and multi grain breads and other nasty, camel-plot looking items are for liberals only since the gaseous output will only match their sour outlook on life while threatening the planet.

When you get a chance, educate a liberal on the causes of Global Warming, their criminal role in this sordid process and why they stink and offend others who are near by with their toxic effluviums. They will appreciate your attempt to save the planet. But don’t suggest they switch to meat!! Convince them to recycle food that is now methane and carbon dioxide free and we can save the planet.

They are mentally ill so be gentle with the news.

rycK

Comments: ryckki@gmail.com