Fat, Fair and Progressive Taxes and the Liberal Psyche Explained. We Should Tax All Who Burden Our Society.

We all have to suffer taxes. Tax revenues bring us some return if not relief in our lives as we need to collectively provide for services such as police, fire protection, and the military and certain social services. There is always much hoopla and jingle-jangle ringing about progressive taxes and what levels they should cut into the income of those who seem to attract more money than those below the median. There is a general consensus, ingrained in the DNA of the ‘poor’ and their advocates that the ‘rich’ ought to pay for most taxes and fund programs for the rest of us.  While noble, this nostrum appears to insufficient to generate enough taxes to pay for the crude excesses of our society. We need better measures. We need more specific taxes.

The chief difficulty with this theory is that the rich can reallocate income and such according to geographic location and tax accountability with respect to earnings. Tax-free bonds are a noticeable loophole in the system where the very rich can get a small return on vast sums and escape taxes. Thus, we need to expand the tax base in a ‘fair’ manner so that, according to the new ramblings on the subject, those who instigate an unnecessary or elective government expense ought to pay for it. Such a tax is the Fat Tax.[1] This seems fair. Why not force those who consume more fuel in an airplane to transport their excess adipose to pay a bit more? The same goes for medical costs. Why not ask those whose lifestyles require more medical assistance to pay a higher premium just to be ‘fair?’ There are convincing parallel arguments in other facets of our society where government costs are concerned. This blog suggests some useful and fair new taxes that would make the tax system fairer and more efficient.  This blog also suggests some novel tax credits that might encourage witnesses, snitches and associates of wrongdoers to come forward and inform on them to the police and be eligible for tax-free awards.

But, this primeval judgment about limiting special taxes to the healthcare system seems to be dysfunctional in our society and unfairly directs taxes focused on just a few who require more government spending on their behalf.  The circular argument that fat people pay less than they should for healthcare in our system and that this costs the government more money is an outstanding example of a non sequitur. If government would stay out of the health business, the costs would be lower based only on the obvious reverse effects of government meddling and costly efficiency inversion. But, contrary to concept that our citizens are logical we must concede the salient point that many think our government is beneficial. But, we still don’t have enough tax revenues to pay for those who deviate from the norm and incur extra costs in our society.

Clearly, we need more taxes of the Fat Tax sort! Extending the logic of Milton Merryweather and P. Franklin Alexander and the refinements offered us from Yale, we can accept the social theory that “…revenue from junk-food taxes be used to subsidize more healthful foods and fund nutrition campaigns. “[2] Yes, go for this! More taxes!

Now, let us assemble an ensemble of habits and activities that cost the government more money than average per individual and see if we could put an equitable tax in the proper place so those who incur the cost pay it back for tax neutrality.

New Taxes

We have many people, apart from eating too much, who require medical services, counseling, rehabilitation and such. All of these costs are from elective social behaviour and could be taxed to relieve the tax base and be fair.  There are other lifestyle antics that might be taxed as they cause unnecessary expenses as well:

Drug Addict Tax, [DAT]. Many dopers are also criminals, perverts and incur costs for the pretense of drug rehabilitation in programs provided by our government. Why not tax druggies accordingly? We could require a special co-payment for all drug-whacked persons who need this service. The tax would be the total cost of drug rehab programs divided by the number of drug addicts and also divided by the average number of visits thus the program would be tax neutral! No credit. Pay-as-you-go.

Sexual Pervert Tax. [SPT] We can safely stipulate that certain diseases like AIDS, chlamydia,[3] g*n*rrhea[the clap],[4] and syphilis[5] are mostly caused by promiscuity and acts of debauchery common to liberals and their victims hence that group that promotes, celebrates and spreads this expensive malady should pay for it.  People who test positive for AIDS must pay an additional 10% federal surtax on all income. Medical treatment facilities who specialize in AIDS and AIDS rehabilitation institutions must pay a tax equal to 300% of the costs required to play out the comedy that they are making a difference and this includes housing, mendicants and staff salaries. Those who violate prostitution laws ought to pay a special fee for each arrest along with extra fees on gay bath houses, massage parlors, bordellos and other such establishments at the flat rate of $100 per customer. This tax would automatically be doubled in California and New York. The taxes should be high enough for the revenues to pay for the diseases incurred in such a disgusting manner.

Wino Tax. [WT] There is no reason that Bowery sots and other connoisseurs of the sidewalk vents should not pay for their special privileges. Those who pretend to ‘dry out’ in elaborate dry tanks that specialize in alcohol  or drug rehab should pay a series of fees. Those arrested for public drunkenness should pay a flat fee for each arrest and rehab facilities a flat tax on their earnings above and beyond their normal tax obligations.

Rotten Plastic Boob Tax [RPBT]. Since breast augmentation is elective surgery[6] and leads to frequent stubborn infections[7] a one-time tax, per boob, should be collected and placed in a pool to pay for such nonsense. Some 300,000 women get this elective surgery each year. [8] Many get nasty diseases or undergo rabid lifestyles after such procedures. The tax should be about $1000 per breast. Men would pay $2000.

Second Hand Marijuana Smoke Tax [SHMST]. Tobacco is taxed, in part, on the theory that second hand smoke causes numerous diseases.[9] Marijuana ought to be taxed in the same way to be fair. Those arrested on drug charges where cannabis is involved should pay a stiff fine of $500 per incident to help pay for their intentional infliction of cancer[10] and other maladies upon the masses. Those who grow the weed and peddle the blossoms should be taxed at $1000 per pound of finished dope weight.

Gambling Addiction Tax [GAT]. Gamblers cause numerous problems in our society and should pay a monthly fee if they continue to gamble and lose. $200 per month seems appropriate.

Academic Parasite Tax [APT]. Many so-called ‘scientists’ and ‘professors’ are social parasites and do more harm through the  dissemination of propaganda and lies than any identifiable good in educational terms. Those who infest our institutions of higher learning like insects  should pay a flat 20% tax on their earnings, 50% fees on honorariums and speaking fees, 240% on book revenues and 125% tax on travel [200% if reimbursed the university or school] when employed in our ‘school’ systems. These taxes and fees would be doubled in the political science departments of all state universities.

Disinformation Tax [DT]. The media tend to be preoccupied with propaganda and disinformation in lieu of reporting the facts and this causes inefficiency in our society. Certain media concerns like the New York Times, CBS, ABC, NBC and CNN should pay a flat disinformation tax equal to 20% of their revenues to compensate the taxpayers for all false stories and bogus reports that support any political views of any sort.

Illegal Alien Tax [IAT]. Illegal aliens are a major cost factor in healthcare, crime and other social areas. Illegal aliens should be charged a fee each time they are discovered in our society. A fee of about $200 per detention is reasonable and they would be forced to pay for their own court costs and deportation fees as well. Any citizen who suspects that an illegal alien is present may ask for their Social Security number and use the E-Z check system to see if it was stolen. An instant reward of $200 would be posted electronically to their checking or savings accounts and the account of the illegal aliens debited in the same transaction. The SS card would then be confiscated by any person present and presented to the government for a $50 tax credit. The illegal alien would then be asset stripped and deported.

Prison Parasite Tax [PAT]. Prison inmates are a burden not only on the healthcare system but on the courts and other government agencies.  Convicted felons doing time in our incarceration facilities should pay for 100% of their expenses. They should pay 120% for crimes if they were elected officials. If they cannot obtain the funds, certain measures might be instituted where the government could claim the use of certain of their body parts and bodily fluids to sell to compensate for prison expenses.  Inmates might be leased out for certain environmental projects like dredging the swamps or collecting plastic bottles on the highways or other useful social projects like experimental surgery and virus stress testing.

Government Employee Parasite Tax [GEPT]. Most government employees are useless and contribute more to inefficiency and the bloated bureaucracy than are effective employees.  Most government employees are thus simple functional parasites gratuitously feeding off the public trough. Since they cannot be fired, those who do not work for the military, police, FBI, border patrol or other agencies who accomplish something useful should pay a flat 20% excise tax on their salaries and a 200% tax on travel expenses. If tardy even one minute they need to be docked two days pay for each offense per minute of lost time.

Politician Pollution Tax [PPT]. Persons ‘elected’ to office should pay a special tax based on the fact that most politicians are corrupt, ignorant or mindless. The extra tax should be about 40% of their government remuneration. Staff members of such persons would be taxed an extra 50% of their salaries and be prohibited from travel more than 50 miles from either Washington DC or their state capitol locations.

Predatory Lawyer Tax [PLT]. Lawyers, by definition, are parasitic and corrupt any system of laws in pursuit of the nonexistent notion of justice. Lawyer’s fees need to be taxed at an hourly rate of $200 per hour and the lawyers fined for all frivolous law suits. Lawyers who lose court contests for their clients should be charged a court fee of 20% of the desired judgment and thus forfeit any fees owed to them by their victimized clients. Lawyers who win lawsuits and secure fat judgments should be entitled to their usual 33% fee with the stipulation that if they are defending criminals, perverts or illegal aliens their tax becomes 200% of the judgment.

ACLU Contribution Tax [ACT]. All contributions to the ACLU by citizens or groups should be taxed at 200% of the sum of the contribution. ACLU lawyers should receive nothing for their services if they sue the government for any reason—particularly in civil rights cases.

Global Warming Blather Tax [GWBT]. All written material whether in media print or on the internet or in an interview on television programs that foster the lies and baloney of Global Warming or Climate Change  should be taxed as the rate of $10 per word per view or listener. “Literature” sent to residents should be taxed in the same way. Citizens may send in tapes of interviews or fliers to the government for a tax rebate.

Obnoxious Panhandler Tax [OPT]. Any person caught begging or panhandling for money from any other person is subject to an instant tax of all monetary items in that person’s possession at the time they are caught. Their clothes would be burned for medical reasons. The police or other persons on the scene who witnessed the act would be allowed to assist the victim in the confiscation of the panhandler’s portable assets. No victim or witness or persons who assist in the administration of justice may be prosecuted or even interviewed by the police and no court orders may be issued against them. Panhandlers may not bring lawsuits to any court.

Tax Credits.

Political Informant Tax Award [PITA] Any person, citizen or not, who gives material evidence, testimony or data on any elected politician, state, city, local, county or federal,  that results in a conviction or a fine would be eligible for a 1-10% award based on the aggregate wealth of the convicted politician. Groups of informers may share in multiples of this award on a percent per person basis. The award with would be determined by a politically neutral panel of citizens who [1] had never run for office, [2] were never related to any elected official and [3] whose tax bracket is 38% or higher. Such awards would be paid in cash and be free of any taxes, world-wide or even farther.

Illegal Alien Snitch Tax Award [IASTC]. Any person, citizen or not, who gives material evidence, testimony or data on any illegal alien that is subsequently deported or convicted of any crime would be eligible for a 5-50% award based on the aggregate wealth of the convicted illegal alien. The award with would be determined by a politically neutral panel of citizens who [1] had never run for office, [2] were never related to any illegal alien and [3] whose tax bracket is 38% or higher. Such awards would be paid in cash and be free of any taxes, world-wide or even farther.

Public Employee Sloth Informant Tax Award [PESITA].  Any person, citizen or not, who gives material evidence, testimony or data on sloth, laziness or malingering activity of any public employee in state, city, local, county or federal employ would be eligible for a 1-20% award based on the total annual  salary and benefits of the employee. This would be doubled for police and the FBI. The lazy employee need not be convicted, but the award would be determined by a politically neutral panel of citizens who [1] had never run for office, [2] had never worked for any government agency or department except the military and [3] whose tax bracket is 38% or higher.

Military Personnel Total Tax Exemption [MPTTE]. No person who enlists in the militarily or graduates from a military academy, including private military academies such as VMI, can be forced to pay any taxes of any kind—city, state, local, county or federal. Businesses will be required to refund the taxes inherent in alcoholic beverages, gasoline, food, clothing, sports tickets and travel and any other fee or tax such as airport taxes and hot dog taxes for all military personnel. Military pay cannot be taxed in any way. Military retirement pay and benefits may not be taxed in any form.

With a few more tax laws, we can save the government some tax monies and bring peace and justice to our society.

rycK

Comments to: ryckki@gmail.com