Posted by
rycK on Wednesday, July 29, 2009 5:47:10 PM
Fat, Fair and
Progressive Taxes and the Liberal Psyche Explained. We Should Tax All Who
Burden Our Society.
We all
have to suffer taxes. Tax revenues bring us some return if not relief in our
lives as we need to collectively provide for services such as police, fire
protection, and the military and certain social services. There is always much
hoopla and jingle-jangle ringing about progressive taxes and what levels they
should cut into the income of those who seem to attract more money than those
below the median. There is a general consensus, ingrained in the DNA of the ‘poor’ and their advocates
that the ‘rich’ ought to pay for most taxes and fund programs for the rest of
us. While noble, this nostrum appears to
insufficient to generate enough taxes to pay for the crude excesses of our
society. We need better measures. We need more specific taxes.
The chief
difficulty with this theory is that the rich can reallocate income and such
according to geographic location and tax accountability with respect to earnings.
Tax-free bonds are a noticeable loophole in the system where the very rich can
get a small return on vast sums and escape taxes. Thus, we need to expand the
tax base in a ‘fair’ manner so that, according to the new ramblings on the
subject, those who instigate an unnecessary or elective government expense
ought to pay for it. Such a tax is the Fat Tax.
This seems fair. Why not force those who consume more fuel in an airplane to
transport their excess adipose to pay a bit more? The same goes for medical
costs. Why not ask those whose lifestyles require more medical assistance to
pay a higher premium just to be ‘fair?’ There are convincing parallel arguments
in other facets of our society where government costs are concerned. This blog
suggests some useful and fair new taxes that would make the tax system fairer
and more efficient. This blog also
suggests some novel tax credits that might encourage witnesses, snitches and
associates of wrongdoers to come forward and inform on them to the police and be
eligible for tax-free awards.
But, this
primeval judgment about limiting special taxes to the healthcare system seems
to be dysfunctional in our society and unfairly directs taxes focused on just a
few who require more government spending on their behalf. The circular argument that fat people pay
less than they should for healthcare in our system and that this costs the
government more money is an outstanding example of a non sequitur. If government would stay out of the health business,
the costs would be lower based only on the obvious reverse effects of
government meddling and costly efficiency inversion. But, contrary to concept
that our citizens are logical we must concede the salient point that many think
our government is beneficial. But, we still don’t have enough tax revenues to
pay for those who deviate from the norm and incur extra costs in our society.
Clearly,
we need more taxes of the Fat Tax sort! Extending the logic of Milton Merryweather and P.
Franklin Alexander and the refinements offered us from Yale, we can accept the social
theory that “…revenue from junk-food
taxes be used to subsidize more healthful foods and fund nutrition campaigns. “ Yes, go
for this! More taxes!
Now, let us
assemble an ensemble of habits and activities that cost the government more
money than average per individual and see if we could put an equitable tax in
the proper place so those who incur the cost pay it back for tax neutrality.
New Taxes
We have
many people, apart from eating too much, who require medical services,
counseling, rehabilitation and such. All of these costs are from elective
social behaviour and could be taxed to relieve the tax base and be fair. There are other lifestyle antics that might be
taxed as they cause unnecessary expenses as well:
Drug Addict Tax, [DAT]. Many dopers are also criminals,
perverts and incur costs for the pretense of drug rehabilitation in programs
provided by our government. Why not tax druggies accordingly? We could require
a special co-payment for all drug-whacked persons who need this service. The
tax would be the total cost of drug rehab programs divided by the number of
drug addicts and also divided by the average number of visits thus the program
would be tax neutral! No credit. Pay-as-you-go.
Sexual Pervert Tax. [SPT] We can safely stipulate that
certain diseases like AIDS, chlamydia,
g*n*rrhea[the clap],
and syphilis
are mostly caused by promiscuity and acts of debauchery common to liberals and
their victims hence that group that promotes, celebrates and spreads this
expensive malady should pay for it. People
who test positive for AIDS must pay an additional 10% federal surtax on all
income. Medical treatment facilities who specialize in AIDS and AIDS
rehabilitation institutions must pay a tax equal to 300% of the costs required
to play out the comedy that they are making a difference and this includes
housing, mendicants and staff salaries. Those who violate prostitution laws
ought to pay a special fee for each arrest along with extra fees on gay bath
houses, massage parlors, bordellos and other such establishments at the flat
rate of $100 per customer. This tax would automatically be doubled in California and New York. The taxes should be high enough
for the revenues to pay for the diseases incurred in such a disgusting manner.
Wino Tax. [WT] There is no reason that Bowery
sots and other connoisseurs of the sidewalk vents should not pay for their
special privileges. Those who pretend to ‘dry out’ in elaborate dry tanks that
specialize in alcohol or drug rehab
should pay a series of fees. Those arrested for public drunkenness should pay a
flat fee for each arrest and rehab facilities a flat tax on their earnings
above and beyond their normal tax obligations.
Rotten Plastic Boob Tax [RPBT]. Since breast augmentation is
elective surgery
and leads to frequent stubborn infections
a one-time tax, per boob, should be collected and placed in a pool to pay for
such nonsense. Some 300,000 women get this elective surgery each year.
Many get nasty diseases or undergo rabid lifestyles after such procedures. The
tax should be about $1000 per breast. Men would pay $2000.
Second Hand Marijuana Smoke Tax
[SHMST]. Tobacco
is taxed, in part, on the theory that second hand smoke causes numerous
diseases.
Marijuana ought to be taxed in the same way to be fair. Those arrested on drug
charges where cannabis is involved should pay a stiff fine of $500 per incident
to help pay for their intentional infliction of cancer
and other maladies upon the masses. Those who grow the weed and peddle the
blossoms should be taxed at $1000 per pound of finished dope weight.
Gambling Addiction Tax [GAT]. Gamblers cause numerous problems
in our society and should pay a monthly fee if they continue to gamble and lose.
$200 per month seems appropriate.
Academic Parasite Tax [APT]. Many so-called ‘scientists’ and
‘professors’ are social parasites and do more harm through the dissemination of propaganda and lies than any
identifiable good in educational terms. Those who infest our institutions of
higher learning like insects should pay
a flat 20% tax on their earnings, 50% fees on honorariums and speaking fees,
240% on book revenues and 125% tax on travel [200% if reimbursed the university
or school] when employed in our ‘school’ systems. These taxes and fees would be
doubled in the political science departments of all state universities.
Disinformation Tax [DT]. The media tend to be preoccupied
with propaganda and disinformation in lieu of reporting the facts and this
causes inefficiency in our society. Certain media concerns like the New York
Times, CBS, ABC, NBC and CNN should pay a flat disinformation tax equal to 20%
of their revenues to compensate the taxpayers for all false stories and bogus reports
that support any political views of any sort.
Illegal Alien Tax [IAT]. Illegal aliens are a major cost
factor in healthcare, crime and other social areas. Illegal aliens should be
charged a fee each time they are discovered in our society. A fee of about $200
per detention is reasonable and they would be forced to pay for their own court
costs and deportation fees as well. Any citizen who suspects that an illegal
alien is present may ask for their Social Security number and use the E-Z check
system to see if it was stolen. An instant reward of $200 would be posted
electronically to their checking or savings accounts and the account of the
illegal aliens debited in the same transaction. The SS card would then be
confiscated by any person present and presented to the government for a $50 tax
credit. The illegal alien would then be asset stripped and deported.
Prison Parasite Tax [PAT]. Prison inmates are a burden not
only on the healthcare system but on the courts and other government
agencies. Convicted felons doing time in
our incarceration facilities should pay for 100% of their expenses. They should
pay 120% for crimes if they were elected officials. If they cannot obtain the
funds, certain measures might be instituted where the government could claim
the use of certain of their body parts and bodily fluids to sell to compensate
for prison expenses. Inmates might be
leased out for certain environmental projects like dredging the swamps or
collecting plastic bottles on the highways or other useful social projects like
experimental surgery and virus stress testing.
Government Employee Parasite Tax
[GEPT]. Most
government employees are useless and contribute more to inefficiency and the
bloated bureaucracy than are effective employees. Most government employees are thus simple
functional parasites gratuitously feeding off the public trough. Since they
cannot be fired, those who do not work for the military, police, FBI, border patrol
or other agencies who accomplish something useful should pay a flat 20% excise
tax on their salaries and a 200% tax on travel expenses. If tardy even one
minute they need to be docked two days pay for each offense per minute of lost
time.
Politician Pollution Tax [PPT]. Persons ‘elected’ to office
should pay a special tax based on the fact that most politicians are corrupt,
ignorant or mindless. The extra tax should be about 40% of their government
remuneration. Staff members of such persons would be taxed an extra 50% of
their salaries and be prohibited from travel more than 50 miles from either Washington DC or their state capitol locations.
Predatory Lawyer Tax [PLT]. Lawyers, by definition, are
parasitic and corrupt any system of laws in pursuit of the nonexistent notion
of justice. Lawyer’s fees need to be taxed at an hourly rate of $200 per hour and
the lawyers fined for all frivolous law suits. Lawyers who lose court contests
for their clients should be charged a court fee of 20% of the desired judgment
and thus forfeit any fees owed to them by their victimized clients. Lawyers who
win lawsuits and secure fat judgments should be entitled to their usual 33% fee
with the stipulation that if they are defending criminals, perverts or illegal
aliens their tax becomes 200% of the judgment.
ACLU Contribution Tax [ACT]. All contributions to the ACLU by
citizens or groups should be taxed at 200% of the sum of the contribution. ACLU
lawyers should receive nothing for their services if they sue the government
for any reason—particularly in civil rights cases.
Global Warming Blather Tax [GWBT]. All written material whether in
media print or on the internet or in an interview on television programs that
foster the lies and baloney of Global Warming or Climate Change should be taxed as the rate of $10 per word
per view or listener. “Literature” sent to residents should be taxed in the
same way. Citizens may send in tapes of interviews or fliers to the government
for a tax rebate.
Obnoxious Panhandler Tax [OPT]. Any person caught begging or
panhandling for money from any other person is subject to an instant tax of all
monetary items in that person’s possession at the time they are caught. Their
clothes would be burned for medical reasons. The police or other persons on the
scene who witnessed the act would be allowed to assist the victim in the confiscation
of the panhandler’s portable assets. No victim or witness or persons who assist
in the administration of justice may be prosecuted or even interviewed by the
police and no court orders may be issued against them. Panhandlers may not
bring lawsuits to any court.
Tax Credits.
Political Informant Tax Award
[PITA] Any
person, citizen or not, who gives material evidence, testimony or data on any
elected politician, state, city, local, county or federal, that results in a conviction or a fine would
be eligible for a 1-10% award based on the aggregate wealth of the convicted
politician. Groups of informers may share in multiples of this award on a
percent per person basis. The award with would be determined by a politically
neutral panel of citizens who [1] had never run for office, [2] were never
related to any elected official and [3] whose tax bracket is 38% or higher.
Such awards would be paid in cash and be free of any taxes, world-wide or even
farther.
Illegal Alien Snitch Tax Award
[IASTC]. Any
person, citizen or not, who gives material evidence, testimony or data on any
illegal alien that is subsequently deported or convicted of any crime would be
eligible for a 5-50% award based on the aggregate wealth of the convicted illegal
alien. The award with would be determined by a politically neutral panel of
citizens who [1] had never run for office, [2] were never related to any
illegal alien and [3] whose tax bracket is 38% or higher. Such awards would be
paid in cash and be free of any taxes, world-wide or even farther.
Public Employee Sloth Informant
Tax Award [PESITA]. Any person, citizen or not, who
gives material evidence, testimony or data on sloth, laziness or malingering
activity of any public employee in state, city, local, county or federal employ
would be eligible for a 1-20% award based on the total annual salary and benefits of the employee. This
would be doubled for police and the FBI. The lazy employee need not be
convicted, but the award would be determined by a politically neutral panel of
citizens who [1] had never run for office, [2] had never worked for any
government agency or department except the military and [3] whose tax bracket
is 38% or higher.
Military Personnel Total Tax Exemption
[MPTTE]. No
person who enlists in the militarily or graduates from a military academy,
including private military academies such as VMI, can be forced to pay any
taxes of any kind—city, state, local, county or federal. Businesses will be
required to refund the taxes inherent in alcoholic beverages, gasoline, food,
clothing, sports tickets and travel and any other fee or tax such as airport
taxes and hot dog taxes for all military personnel. Military pay cannot be
taxed in any way. Military retirement pay and benefits may not be taxed in any
form.
With a few more tax
laws, we can save the government some tax monies and bring peace and justice to
our society.
rycK
Comments
to: ryckki@gmail.com